Tuesday 27 January 2009

Get to Da Choppa's!!!!!!!!!!

Ello' and WAAAGH to Everybody and welcome to mah new blog on WAR. Since it's fairly safe to say the Orc Choppa will be gracing us with it's presence soon... and as as Big Barnett has ushered in a new wave of blogging, I thought I would jump on the bandwagon. My reasons for this are threefold....

1) I want to commit to one game. By my nature I am very fickle and get bored easily. Well bored is maybe too strong a word, but I like to "Chop and change" ^^ so to speak. At the moment I am hopping between WoW, Battleground Europe (Because i'm a ww2 nut), Hearts of Iron 2 (YAWN) and WAR. Well i'm not WARRing and the moment (i'll tell you why in a minute).

I love Warhammer! I've been a 40k player in the past (Orks ofc ^^) and I really like WAR. However when Mythic decided to cut my class from the roster I was so pissed and vetoed war for like a week :P. I eventually bit the bullet and rolled a Black Orc, but i'll get into that in a minute :P

It's my hope that by blogging about WAR in the run up to the release of the Choppa class, that it will rekindle my interest in the game and make me stick to playing one game, and hence pay one sub. It'll be great on my timekeeping and my wallet and my finacée won't get annoyed about me pluggin away on the pooter til the wee hours. (See http://firesofwar.wordpress.com/ - The latest post here is amazing advice on this topic)

2) Warhammer Orc's are full of win

No other fantasy based game and/or world depicts Orc's in a way that is totally 100% full of win. I mean take the Lord of the Rings Orc's for example..

I mean what the frakk is that? It looks like a giant turd with a mask on, not very Orky at all. If I wanted to be chased down the street by a giant turd i'd go for a madras with me mate Grog down the local curry house. Jesus.

However they growl, grunt, scream, bash stuff and speak in a cockney accent and for this reason I award them 2 Goff's

WoW Orc's on the other hand look quite respectable and I was really excited to see the look and feel of them back in Ye Olde days when the game was due to be released. (Man that seems like beards ago!!!). There is something great about rolling up an Orc, donning your big ass choppa and smashing things into a pulp with no regard for your own personal safety. So it is for this reason I give them 3 Goff's




"Come on Ghaz?? Why not 4 Goffs???" Because they hang their mouths open all the time for no apparent reason, run like they shat their pants and go around shouting LOK TAR, whatever the frakk that means. Plus ORC'S ARE TOO BIG TO BE ROGUES! Can you imagine an Orc sneaking into ANYWHERE? No.. Why? because they are green, fat and smell of Orc.



Except Warhammer Ork Kommando's in 40k who excel at being sort of sneaky by running round the back and stabbing you with a huge knife. See how Warhammer Ork's just generally rule over all other types of Ork's.

I'm not the only one who thinks that Ork's are not sneaky though. In the Ork Codex there is a great quote from some space ummies' which read's..


Provost-Major Kyne, at the court-martial of Lt Gordo
Half-glimpsed shadows? Ork wearing camouflage? Do you take us for imbeciles? Orks are barbaric and entirely single-minded. Army dogma, which has served us well for ten thousand years, teaches us this. Greenskins come on in a great horde, they do not slink and sneak in the shade.

Guards! Take the prisoner to the holding cells to await execution for cowardice and incompetence.


But I digress.....

3) Warhammer Orc's are the 100% bonafide in your face Stupid Orc's I have come to love and cherish. From their look to their accent's they are the real deal. Everything that comes out of their mouth is utter win. They are so good they constitute two of my three reasons for writing this blog. They live to chop you into little bits and derive a great deal of pleasure in doing so. To quote an ork strategist..
Get 'em boyz!
Dakka dakka dakka!
WAAAGH! THE ORKS!
WAAAGH!
- Rotgob, Ork strategist

So earlier I stated that at the moment I am not WARRing. But why write a blog on WAR if you don't play the game? because I want to play the game but I flat out refuse to until Mythic get around to releasing the sole reason I want to play. That is the lovley Orc Choppa. I just can't play any other race that isnt MDPS or a Greenskin. It just feels wrong.


Well I did bite the bullet and roll a Black Orc bearing the name of my Blog. Ghazghkull Mag Uruk Thrakka Warboss of Da Goff's is the greatest Ork to ever have Waaaaghed and it seemed only fitting that I should honor him by remaking him in WAR and smashing some heads. Which I did! and I enjoyed it for a while but I just couldn't accept my role as a tank. And as such believed I was hurting my team and giving poor Ghaz a bad name. So I hung up his boots and logged out.

Well, i've rambled on enough I think. I just wanted to say hello and to let you know why I am writing this blog. In anticipation of the greatest class to ever grace an MMO.

Da Orc Choppa!

1 comment:

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